Jealous Therapist Syndrome

“Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.” ~~Gordon R. Dickson~~

During an Accountability Group meeting yesterday we discussed what one of my partners called the “jealous therapist syndrome”. I Googled it… I think she may have coined the phrase. Basically the point is that it’s often easier to help someone else than it is to help yourself. We have clarity of thought when we look in from the outside. We can give great advice to others, but we don’t always follow our own. We can see what can work for someone else's situation, but have trouble plotting out our own path. A colleague of mine, Ed Han, even posted about it in his blog a few weeks ago as it relates to resumes, and how hard it is to write your own, while being so easy to give opinions on others. In his post, Ed challenges us to “Imagine what more any of us could learn if we had more input from people whose views we trust?” I like the idea! It’s why there are mastermind groups, power lunches with like-minded people, job clubs, and a whole host of other networking opportunities where we can share information and get input from people we trust and respect. Research has shown that job seekers who are members of job clubs land new roles more quickly than those who do not participate in such networking events. Another colleague of mine, Donna Svei, aka Avid Careerist, a resume writer who also writes a great blog for job seekers, strongly encourages job seekers to “show up” and “get yourself out with people” in her post HERE. So – what are you waiting for? Get out there, ask for ideas and input. Seek assistance… but beware the naysayers and the doom and gloomers. Not all advice is good.

The High of Helping

"Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success." ~~Henry Ford~~

You don’t have to do it alone. You’ve heard that “it takes a village”? I had, many times, but I’m not sure I really understood the meaning until recently. Things like Ego and Fear or Embarrassment can get in the way of asking for help or advice. So we go it alone. We try to trudge our way through what feels like uncharted territory and make it up as we go along. Well, like yesterday, today is your day! Your goals are waiting. Today is the day to empower the village to pull together. Today is the day to take action steps to overcoming the ostensible need to do it alone. If you’re feeling shy, or feeling scared, then start by helping someone else! You’ll see how good it feels to be the one to help pick someone else up off the ground. You’ll understand intrinsically why it’s human nature to assist others. You’ll feel the natural high of being able to offer something you didn’t even know you had (or didn’t think was all that special) that helps someone turn their life around. Maybe then will you see that by asking for help you’re actually doing someone else a favor!

I haven’t been out there as much lately. Sure, I’ve still been helping some. It’s what I do. Teaching job seekers how to think like a recruiter; leveraging social media; networking tactics… it’s what I do. But I haven’t really been out there lately. I miss the face-to-face networking that brings me so much joy. I miss being out there helping people connect with others who can help them even more than I can. And, I miss recognizing the proverbial light bulbs going off when someone sees a way that they can help me. Networking is a two way street, and it starts with you, and it starts today! Who can you help today? Who can you reach out to today? And who do you think may be able to help you get one step closer to your goals?

There’s Nothing Routine About a Job Search Routine

“The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.” ~Mike Murdock

There’s nothing routine about routine. Having a plan, and sticking to it, may be the secret to success. I’m not suggesting that you hide from innovation and creativity. I am all about trying new things and reaping fruits of inspiration. Yet, I have also learned that having a routine can significantly increase your chances for triumph. Now, I get that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing you have always done the way you have always done it, and expecting different results. So again, I am not suggesting that you stick to a routine that is not creating benefit. I am suggesting, however, that sticking to a routine can help you realize benefit.

I just got back from a wonderful vacation, and there was not one of the 23 of us who stuck to a routine. Vacation is the perfect time to deviate from routine, right? Well, it depends on what your goals are… There are so many tools available to us these days which we can use to keep up with our routines that I wonder if deviation is really the answer, or if it just causes more stress. For me, not sticking to my work routine, especially when I can automate things like sending tweets and posting Facebook updates, had me going through social media withdrawal and actually feeling guilty for not engaging online. Not staying on top of emails and at least spending a few minutes each morning and afternoon reading and responding to messages had me in a panic by last night. Not sleeping normally and eating normally and…well my body certainly has had more physical stress, but I totally understand the phrase, “I need a vacation to recover from my vacation”. Vacation may be an extreme example… how about in everyday living?

How about in job search? What if you created a weekly routine which ensured that you spent the right amount of time on each part of a full career campaign? It is my belief that if you followed said routine, at least most of the time, you would feel more productive and in fact actually accomplish more.

So let’s break it down. I believe that a full career campaign consists of research, communication and networking. Research includes things like identifying resources, networking opportunities, target companies, and people inside those target companies, as well as finding job postings to which you can apply. Communication includes phone, email and snail mail, and includes reaching out, responding, saying thank you, and following up. Networking includes professional industry and function specific events and conferences, job search specific networking, online networking and one-on-one meetings and conversations. Yes, that’s a lot. Yes, that’s a huge time commitment. People aren’t joking around when they say that looking for a job is a full time job. So, wouldn’t having (and following) a routine make fitting all this in a whole lot easier?

What if you committed to 10 hours a week of research, 10 hours a week of communication in various forms, and 20 hours a week networking? Do you think it’s worth giving that a try? How will you set up your weekly routine? Let me know what your plan is, and how you feel at the end of a few weeks. I look forward to your reports back. And as always, let me know how I can help.

Focus: Taking a Targeted Approach

“We have more ability than will power, and it is often an excuse to ourselves that we imagine that things are impossible.” ~~François de la Rochefoucauld~~

I’ve spent a great deal of time over the last few weeks talking with job seekers about the importance of being “targeted” in their search. You need to know who your target audience is and tailor your message to them. You need to be targeted in your networking efforts, targeted in your conversations and you need to target your value proposition, your cover letter, and even your resume. Of course, that got me thinking about myself and my approach to my own business and, frankly, my life in general.

I know that staying focused is critical to my success. I know that there are so many things I want to do, and it is so easy to get distracted. I can spend hours on twitter in the name of organizing my lists believing that will help me be more productive later… and while that is absolutely the truth, it is likely not the best use of my time in the middle of my work day… What if, instead, every conversation, every email, every internet search, every Facebook post, every tweet, (read: every effort) was targeted and focused on one single desired outcome?

What if you took a few minutes each morning to decide what you would like to achieve, and then focus all of your efforts for that day on achieving it? That could be really powerful! First step: figuring out what you want to achieve…

Focus, Rest and Career Planning

“Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” ~~Denis Waitley~~

It’s incredible what a good night’s sleep can do for you!! Well-rested and focused, we can accomplish anything! With even the best laid plans and preparation, as we know, life happens, and it doesn’t always happen according to our plans… so as soon as you are able, pick up where you left off, and get back on track. And that’s what I’m doing today!

One plug for planning, and then I’m off to focus on today’s tasks…

If you are a job seeker in the NYC Metro area, please check out Career Planning on a Napkin! HireEffect is co-hosting (with My ExecutiveCareerCoach.com) a spectacular day of job search strategy sessions, networking tips, stress management tools, and some of the best career advice around. I’ll be speaking about the job search / corporate marketing connection! I hope to see you Thursday!

Attitude: Your Public Face

“Well we all have a face
That we hide away forever
And we take them out and
Show ourselves
When everyone has gone
Some are satin some are steel
Some are silk and some are leather
They're the faces of the stranger
But we love to try them on.”

~~Billy Joel, “The Stranger”~~

Have you thought about who you are in public? Are you different at home with your family than you are “in business”? Have you considered your online persona? Are you the same? As I talk to more people about the importance of an online presence in today’s marketplace I encounter many who don’t understand who they “should be” online. A few tips: 1. Be yourself. 2. Listen first to what’s going on around you, and then engage in conversation. 3. Add value and insight. And 4, which is the most important advice I can offer, stay positive. No.Matter.What.

It is becoming more and more apparent as online social networking tools increase in popularity that too many people still don’t understand the impact of negativity in public. Say whatever you want to at home behind closed doors, but when you’re out there, whether in person or behind a computer screen, please, I beg you, stay positive. Airing dirty laundry, complaining about your job (or lack of one), dissing the guy you just interviewed with in front of MILLIONS of people online, or otherwise being negative and whiny is just not going to help you. Not in any way.

If you really can’t think of a way to spin it so it’s positive, if you simply cannot find that silver lining, just stay off the computer. You’ll be glad later that you made that choice.

Attitude: A Reflection in the Mirror

“Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different.” ~~Katherine Mansfield~~

I attended a fantastic networking event last night, and spoke with some incredible people. Some I had “known” for several years, even spoken with by phone, but had never actually met, and others I wished I’d met earlier and am grateful to have met now. I also had the opportunity to catch up with people I know quite well, and that’s always a great thing. As a connector* I really enjoy meeting people in general, but there was something in the air last night. Everybody was happy to be there! Everybody had a great, positive attitude. Everybody was asking how they could help someone else and not at all thinking about who was going to help them (at least not outwardly!) The energy in the room was nothing short of spectacular. More than one person said something about the importance of having fun. More than one person believed that anything was possible if you just put your mind to it. More than one person commented on the effects of maintaining a positive attitude. More than one person talked about how critical they felt it was to align your passion with your work. More than one person talked about feeling good about what you do so you can look yourself in the eye in the morning and know you’re going to have a great day. I was reminded how empowering it is to surround yourself with positive people. I felt invigorated; like I was on top of the world. And, I know my own positive energy and focus just added to the mix.

I pass that on to you today. Stay positive. Surround yourself with positive people and positive influences. Believe that anything is possible. Believe that you can do it.

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” ~Winston Churchill


*A quick note to say that this event was the same event, now held monthly, where I discovered that I was a connector, referenced here: http://hireeffect.blogspot.com/2010/12/goals_09.html

Attitude: Time to shout from the rooftop!

“To have a thing is little, if you're not allowed to show it, to know a thing, is nothing unless others know you know it.” ~~Charles Neaves~~

My next quote should be “everything in moderation”, but the point is that it’s OK, and in fact often necessary for you to put yourself out there and strut your stuff. If nobody knows you can do it, nobody will ask you to…

I’m not suggesting that you go around bragging about every accomplishment, and I still think that often it’s more important to listen than it is to speak, but sometimes it’s time to let others know what you know.

I was at a networking event last night and I observed some great conversation. I also observed (and participated in) some missed opportunity. While some (me included) had a tendency to talk too much… others said nothing at all, even when given the chance to shine. I think, at least in some cases it was a function of a lack of confidence. If you want to get noticed, recognized for the things you have done and therefore the things you can do, you have to make a conscious decision to be proud of yourself. You have to choose to be comfortable in your own skin. You have to choose to have a positive attitude and a firm belief that you are capable of so much more. And you have to let people know about it.

Sometimes it’s OK to shout from the rooftop!

Preparation: It's just necessary!

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." ~G.B. Shaw, Mrs. Warren's Profession, 1893~~


I’m re-reading Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time by Keith Ferrazzi (with Tahl Raz). It’s a fantastic book in which tips and tactics on building a great network abound. I’m at the part in Chapter Three about conducting an internal review; a self-assessment to figure out where your passion and abilities intersect. It’s an exciting preparation for goal setting and I’m really looking forward to the journey.

Preparation comes in many forms…It’s not always pleasant, and it’s not always easy, but it’s always helpful. In fact, I’ll go as far as saying that it’s always necessary. We may not understand it. We may not like it. We may not want to do it. But when we do, and we’re prepared for anything and everything, there’s no stopping us!

What are some ways you prepare?

Motivation

“Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.” ~~Mark Twain~~

I guess it’s kind of obvious that different people are motivated in different ways, by different things. While deadlines may motivate one person, they may completely overwhelm someone else. While some find affirmations helpful, others believe they’re nonsense. People spend a lot of time figuring out what motivates them, or, at least I hope they do… One thing seems to be true, however, across the board. Momentum breeds motivation. For even the most negative, unmotivated person, staying motivated in the heat of the moment is easy. I find that once I get going, and those proverbial juices start flowing, there’s no stopping me! When you can multiply that energy it becomes even more powerful. When you bring likeminded people together to work towards a common goal, it’s virtually impossible NOT to be motivated. Brainstorming becomes fun. Planning becomes exciting. Things get done! Whether it’s in a networking group or a one-on-one meeting with someone inside your sphere of influence, find and tap into that energy. Surround yourself with great people and take action!

Attitude

I’m actually sorry that I missed yesterday’s post. And, I’m not apologizing to YOU for my not blogging yesterday (although if you missed it, I *am* sorry…)… I’m actually sorry that I didn’t write because I could really use some focus. Here’s what I’m remembering today… It’s not hard to get focused. It’s hard to get focused on the right things! I made my list, have my Pandora trance station playing softly, and have been 100% focused since 9:30 this morning… and while I did complete a deliverable that I really needed to get out today, I have spent the last hour cleaning out my office closet… and that is NOT what I should be focusing on. So, I decided to blog to set myself straight.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program!

“Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.” ~~Albert Einstein ~~

It’s all about the attitude! I know… I say that all the time. But please don’t tell me that you’re tired of hearing it, because I will simply reply that it’s all about your attitude! How about saying, “thanks for the reminder!” And who couldn’t use a friendly reminder about something that will only help you feel better?

I attended a great networking event last night* and found myself surrounded by people who really get that it is all about their attitude. This event is fashioned to be a mix of employed executives, entrepreneurs, and those in transition, or “between successes”. Everyone, the working and the not, is invited because they add value. And, everyone last night added so much value. There were no sales pitches; there were no sob stories; no contacts were held back; there was absolutely no shortage of great advice, gentle reminders, and sincere help. I spoke with someone who has been unemployed for over a year. I spoke with someone who owns his own (and quite successful) business. I spoke with someone who is just staring her own business. I spoke with someone who is a successful VP of HR. And frankly, the only thing different about each of them was what they happened to be passionate about. They were all so positive. They were upbeat and grateful to be included in this well-orchestrated meeting of the minds. So, once again, my hat’s off to networking, and the power of the positive attitude. I have no doubt that every person in that room last night who was in transition made at least 3 connections that will help them land their next role. I have no doubt that each of those connections will be better off themselves for making it so! And I have no doubt that if the attitudes had been different in that room last night, none of that would have happened…


*Thanks to Jay Rovert, Financial Services Representative, MetLife for setting up these renowned dinners!

Preparation

“The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.” ~Ursula K. LeGuin ~~

As important a role preparation plays along the path to success, and as much as it is not only useful, but sometimes imperative to survival, it is not possible to be physically prepared for everything. Life happens. And you need to be able to roll with it.

I’ve been asking myself lately how to deal with that, and how that fits in to my premise… Is it true that you need to be prepared to be unprepared sometimes? Or, can it be that you need to be mentally prepared to handle whatever comes your way? Maybe “being prepared for anything” is more about preparing your mind and choosing your attitude than making your lists and checking them twice… Now, I’m not suggesting that lists are not important. And, I’m not suggesting that you don’t need to study before the exam… but maybe, just maybe there’s more to it than that.

I’ve written a lot about preparation through planning, and through clearing clutter and removing physical distractions. I’ve written about “to do” lists, and daily, weekly and monthly roadmaps. I’ve suggested getting mentally prepared through meditation and getting a good night’s sleep... and I still believe all that to be necessary and real. But I am now also exploring the possibility that preparation goes way beyond those things. Being prepared to handle whatever comes your way, being able to navigate through uncertainty and hardship takes a lot more. And it may be even more important. It takes confidence and a strong sense of self. It takes learning from our past and applying what we’ve learned to new situations. It takes adaptability and flexibility. It takes friends and family helping you through. It takes a coach or an advisor acting as a sounding board. It takes a village.

So today, prepare to be successful. Build your network, build your support system, and take charge of building your self-esteem. Believe you can, and you will, no matter what happens next.

“Uncertainty will always be part of the taking charge process.” ~~Harold S. Geneen

Motivation

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” ~~Tennessee Williams~~

Some great comments on my post yesterday really got me thinking about how we get and stay motivated. I was reminded by a colleague Sheree Van Vreede (@rezlady) that we’re not in this game alone. It really does take a village, and we can rely on our networks for support. So true! My personal advisory board helps me not only stay on track, but is a huge support to me when I feel I need a little something… And, that something can be anything, really! Sometimes it’s motivation and encouragement. Sometimes it’s a sounding board. Sometimes it’s advice. Sometimes it’s a swift kick in the pants! It’s not only motivating, but extremely comforting to know I have a village out there! Social media applications like LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, (and now I’m exploring Quora) have helped make that village even larger. In fact, that’s how I know of Sheree! It’s wonderful to know that there’s a whole world of people out there who are willing to help!

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart; I'll always be with you.” ~Winnie the Pooh

Goals

“If you have a goal in life that takes a lot of energy, that requires a lot of work, that incurs a great deal of interest and that is a challenge to you, you will always look forward to waking up to see what the new day brings.” ~~Susan Polis Schultz~~

And when you keep that goal in mind while remaining flexible in your plan to achieve that goal, the new day can bring so many different things…and you never know what you’re going to get! (Remember that box of chocolates???)

I attended a phenomenal networking event last night. I met some amazing people. I had no idea what to expect when I walked in the door, but I am so thrilled that I attended! I had several fantastic conversations, and I will discuss some of them in the days to come I’m sure, but one really struck me. I was speaking with Lawrence Eisner, ESQ (www.LBEisner.com) about how different people make sense of the chaos in the world. It was fascinating. Some people organize things by geography, remembering occurrences by where they took place. Other people may relate everything to music or art. The premise was that *innately* something helps you put order around what could otherwise be chaotic; that you are born with a way to cope. I had never really thought about it, and actually had a hard time identifying how I make sense of my world. Larry got it! I am a connector! I always have been. I put people together. I remember things by who they happened with. I discuss people by talking about who they know. I introduce people to other people and help make lasting friendships and partnerships. It is second nature to me. And, it’s showing up now! I gravitated to social media tools like LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter, because they allow me to continue to be the social connector, but now on a larger scale. And I still group people together by who they know or associate with. That may seem like an obvious thing to do, especially on Twitter, but it didn’t seem so obvious at our table last night. My goals on Twitter were vastly different from others’ goals. I am on Twitter with the sole intention of connecting and engaging. I am on Facebook with the primary goal of keeping the people in my world motivated. I am on LinkedIn, and teach people how to use LinkedIn so they can build their networks and get more people to know about them. I’m all about connecting, and it all makes sense to me. More importantly, it’s helped me make some sense of my journey!

How do you make sense of your world? I think once you figure that out, your path to achieving your goal will become much more clear! It did for me!

Motivation

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.” ~~Henry David Thoreau ~~

I was totally inspired yesterday by, yes, another networking contact. I love how true networking works. I had absolutely no idea whatsoever what the purpose of that meeting was going to be. I had no preconceived notion about how I was going to be able to help her, or how she was going to be able to help me. So we sat down and started talking… and let the magic happen! It was an amazing meeting of the minds. It turns out, not surprisingly, that we can really help each other get to the next level. We can really help one another achieve those goals that until yesterday felt only like pipe dreams. So, here’s the lesson I learned… Keep dreaming those pipe dreams, because you just never know when they’re going to become your reality! And, there’s the next quote I hope to be known for!

More about my new networking friend: For anyone who is looking to manage stress, reduce anxiety, quit smoking, lose weight, gain focus, increase motivation or for some other reason just get out of your own way, please check out www.StephanieDalfonzo.com. I really am totally inspired!

Goals

“It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life does not lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy of life lies in having no goal to reach.” ~~Benjamin E. Mays~~

Sometimes I lose sight of the goal. Sometimes I forget why I do what I do and I wallow in the self-pity that I create. Sometimes it takes just getting off my a$$ and doing “it” anyway to remind me of why I do what I do and how much I love doing it.

Today, I am grateful for the woman who called me yesterday, out of the blue, and asked for my help. She was referred to me by someone else she didn’t really know, and had the courage, strength and conviction to pick up the phone and ask a perfect stranger for assistance. I respect that tremendously. And, in offering her some basic job search advice and the names of some networking contacts, my mood changed. My attitude shifted. I love helping people! That’s why I do what I do. So, thank you person who shall remain nameless because I didn’t ask you if I could blog about you… Thank you, also, the person who gave you my name in the first place.

My goals, all of them, even the one in my long term 20-year plan, are about helping people and having fun while doing so! Sure, there‘s some level of selfishness in there… I deserve to have fun and to be happy.  So, here’s to my goals and to the journey of discovery along the path to reach them!

Attitude

Here’s a MUST do for you: if you’re not happy, upbeat and energetic, FAKE IT! When you’re down, angry, frustrated, disturbed, pissed off, etc… IT SHOWS! And that is NOT the face you want the world to see! So, fake it until you make it! Act “as if”! Put on your game face! Whatever you want to label it; “put a smile on your face and a song in your heart” (Thanks PAT!) and you’ll notice the change in how people respond to you!

I run a networking group for HR practitioners (www.whineanddine.org), and I am consistently surprised by the people who come in to the room with their shoulders slumped over, a frown (or worse, a scowl!) on their face and consistently complain about their lot in life (or their job search.) they wonder why they’re still unemployed, or why the didn’t get that great opportunity even though they networked with the hiring manager… Think for a moment if in that same event the hiring manager for the perfect opportunity was out sourcing candidates. Do you think that bummed out, seemingly depressed individual would even be considered? I’ll tell you as a recruiter, the answer is no!

And what about online? If you’re using Twitter, Facebook, or worse, LinkedIn to vent, complain, or otherwise be negative, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. People ARE looking, and they will take note. Be kind. Be helpful. Maintain your positive attitude, and watch the magic happen!

Attitude

“[People] who never get carried away should be.” ~~Malcolm Forbes~~

I had the distinct pleasure of networking this morning with an entrepreneur extraordinaire. I don’t call her that because she’s “made it”. I call her that because she will! I’ve been witness to a transformation unlike many I have seen before. With more drive and determination to thrive than I have ever seen in one person, I have no doubt she and her new business will be a huge success. She is enthusiastic, gung-ho and working her tail off. Being “carried away” to higher heights is her new mission, and her enthusiasm is contagious. That’s one thing I love about networking with positive people!

“Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?” ~Dennis and Wendy Mannering

Preparation

“Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work.” ~~Peter F. Drucker~~

I am once again amazed (not surprised, just amazed) by the power of the affirmation and the drive that I have when I am mentally prepared for greatness. Preparation for a great day, a great week, and in conjunction, great success comes from within, and help to realize that power within does exist!

Committed to taking advantage of the enthusiasm I gained after networking with an Action Coach late last week, and once again re-energized beyond my norm, I feel ready to conquer even the largest obstacle (my own tendency towards procrastination!) and know that I will be successful! The power of networking, be it with one colleague or a whole accountability group, really helps me mentally prepare for the greatness I know I can achieve.

Planning for this week actually started last Friday. Over the weekend, instead of stressing about what I still hadn’t done, I wrote down things on my “to do” list as they entered my mind. Last night, I organized my desk a bit, downloaded my email from the weekend and deleted the junk, and prioritized my to do list for today. I went to bed last night repeating to myself, “I am healthy, well-rested, energized and focused. I stay on track and successfully accomplish my tasks.”

As I said, I am again amazed by the power of affirmation… My allergies, which were really starting to get the best of me, seem to have cleared quite a bit, and I have gotten more done already this morning than I expected.

I am jazzed, and I love this feeling! So, THANK YOU to my network, my readers, my family, and specifically, my friend and Action Coach. I’ve always said that every great player needs a coach, and I’m so happy that at least in this instance, I took my own advice!

“Happy people plan actions, they don't plan results.” ~Dennis Wholey

Friday: Motivation

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~Albert Schweitzer

Ahhh…. The power of networking! Who’s inner spirit can you rekindle today?