When The Only One You’re Hurting is You

“We are accountable only to ourselves for what happens to us in our lives." ~~Mildred Newman~~

Accountability is a curious thing to me. It’s easy to be accountable when there is an external expectation. If a customer is waiting for something from you, you get it to them, and you get it to them on time. If a client is in need, you help them in any way that you can. You are accountable to your customers and clients, and likely to your family and your friends. But how often do you hold yourself accountable for the things that are important only to you? Do you hold yourself accountable for things that are not perceived as requirements to achieve success? I can write about completing a performance review for yourself or your business, and you can think it’s a great idea, but do you do it? Or, do you plan to? What if you forget? Things like that slip through the cracks all the time. You know it’s a good idea. You believe it can help further your success, but it’s for you, and you alone… and so maybe someday you’ll get to it…

Do you hold yourself accountable for the things you say you’re going to do when nobody really is expecting anything from you… except you?

Here are some ways that I believe will help me hold myself accountable to ME.

1. Engage an accountability partner. I have learned that when I have someone who can help nudge me along the way (who is not my spouse!) when I’m not meeting my own expectations is very helpful. I don’t like to admit failure. I don’t know anyone who does. So, if I create the person who IS expecting something form me, I get it done. I’m not talking about a daily thing, maybe not even a weekly thing, but someone who truly helps you stay accountable for your actions, whether for work or for job search, can be extremely helpful.
2. Become part of an accountability group, or create one. This can be especially useful if you work independently, or are in job search. Put together a group of people who have similar needs or desire similar outcomes, and help each other stay focused and on track. Meet as often as you need to, maybe by phone, likely better in person, and keep your meetings productive. Set guidelines, and make sure that everyone in the group understands its purpose.
3. Write down weekly goals along with daily to-dos that will help you achieve those goals. Set timelines, set deadlines, and stick to them. Maybe you can even share your list with your accountability partner or group. And, practice integrity. Do what you say you’re going to do, and create a consequence for not holding up your end of the bargain. Likewise, reward yourself when you do. Celebrate the small successes along the way. The little stuff adds up!

If you have other ideas, let me know! Accountability really is a curious thing to me. And, I need as much help with holding myself accountable as anyone else out there!

On Being Committed

“There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results." ~~Kenneth Blanchard~~

It takes a lot of will power to be committed. Will power is not something that comes easily to all. It if did, there probably wouldn’t be a name for it… I’ve written many posts about not going it alone. I often talk about the importance of networking and of getting and giving help. Being committed to being committed is a prime example of when your support system can, well, support you! Ask for encouragement. Ask to be held accountable. Ask for help in recognizing when your commitment starts to waiver. Just because it’s YOUR commitment doesn’t mean you have to do it by yourself. Rally your friends, your family, your coach, your colleagues, the twitterverse… Let people know what you’re up to.

Let’s get the world committed to your success.

Focus: A Productivity Experiment

“When walking, walk. When eating, eat.” ~~Zen Proverb~~

Have you ever read “The Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield? There is one part that still stands out in my mind, and I haven’t actually read the book in years! Several of the characters are having a conversation, and each turns and completely focuses all of his or her attention and energy on the person speaking. The person speaking, therefore, feels empowered and engaged, and beyond that, experiences clarity of thought and his or her own sense of enchantment. I know people who do this regularly; people who listen to you so intently and seem so truly interested that you feel like the only person in the room.

Have you ever noticed how good you feel when you’re speaking with someone face-to-face and they are focusing all of their attention on you? Have you ever felt the surge of energy when they are not only looking at you while you’re speaking, but they’re intently listening and actively participating (non-verbally) in all you have to say? It’s an incredible feeling, isn’t it? Have you done the same for them in return; basically giving over your energy for the moment?

What if you can turn that focused energy and empowerment into action? What if you *truly* focused on what you were doing at this moment? What if you poured your energy over the tasks at hand? How much more could you get done? How much more fulfilling could it be? The importance of being “present” is something many discuss when it comes to conversation… I’m wondering how much it can impact my productivity. Here’s my experiment: Today I will focus on one thing at a time. Today I will pour all the energy I would direct to a live person standing in front of me to every task I start. I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow…

Motivation: On being held accountable

“Sometimes the only way you can take a really good look at yourself is through somebody else's eyes.” ~From the television show Scrubs

Can someone please tell me if Mercury is in retrograde? Seriously! I’ve spoken to 4 people in the last two days who are just so sad and feeling so alone. Stress takes its toll! It affects your health, your family, your life. Whether you’re in a job you can’t stand, or you don’t have one at all; the feelings you’re experiencing can be overwhelming. I remember those feelings all too well. And if there is one pearl of wisdom that I can share from that experience, it is this: You are not alone. There are people around you who can and will help you. We will listen, we will advise, we will motivate, and we will hold you accountable. (And, yes, that’s a GOOD thing!) If you could only see yourself through someone else’s eyes! You would see that you are capable; you do have the power inside you that you need to succeed. You can change your circumstances, and with some support and guidance, you will make things better for yourself. And, you don’t have to do it alone!

I went to my first new accountability group meeting yesterday. Three of us who are in similar places in our careers met to share our goals and “to-do” lists. We discussed some strategies which may help us get to where we want to be. We will talk (or meet) weekly and hold one another accountable. We will make sure that each of us does what they say they were going to do. We will offer suggestions, provide support and direction, and keep one another focused on the “right” stuff. I already feel more productive!

I’ve written in the past about the importance of this kind of support, and I think for a career campaign, it really makes sense! When you’re looking for a job, you are basically self-employed. You set your own rules and you set your own timeline. The only person you hurt when you don’t do what you said you were going to is you! When your self-imposed deadlines go whooshing by, the only person who suffers the consequences is you! So, you continue to spiral down. You continue to feel guilty. You may even begin to even feel sorry for yourself… and the only person who can make it better???? You guessed it. YOU!

What if instead you had people holding you to those deadlines? What if you had a group of people relying on you to get things accomplished? What if those people held you accountable? Wouldn’t you be more likely to take action and get things done? And imagine how much better you will feel when those people are actually helping you pull yourself up, offering words of encouragement, and giving you ideas that you may not have come up with on your own! It’s always easier to give someone else good advice, isn’t it? And, the very act of helping someone else might just help you help yourself!

Preparation

“The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.” ~Ursula K. LeGuin ~~

As important a role preparation plays along the path to success, and as much as it is not only useful, but sometimes imperative to survival, it is not possible to be physically prepared for everything. Life happens. And you need to be able to roll with it.

I’ve been asking myself lately how to deal with that, and how that fits in to my premise… Is it true that you need to be prepared to be unprepared sometimes? Or, can it be that you need to be mentally prepared to handle whatever comes your way? Maybe “being prepared for anything” is more about preparing your mind and choosing your attitude than making your lists and checking them twice… Now, I’m not suggesting that lists are not important. And, I’m not suggesting that you don’t need to study before the exam… but maybe, just maybe there’s more to it than that.

I’ve written a lot about preparation through planning, and through clearing clutter and removing physical distractions. I’ve written about “to do” lists, and daily, weekly and monthly roadmaps. I’ve suggested getting mentally prepared through meditation and getting a good night’s sleep... and I still believe all that to be necessary and real. But I am now also exploring the possibility that preparation goes way beyond those things. Being prepared to handle whatever comes your way, being able to navigate through uncertainty and hardship takes a lot more. And it may be even more important. It takes confidence and a strong sense of self. It takes learning from our past and applying what we’ve learned to new situations. It takes adaptability and flexibility. It takes friends and family helping you through. It takes a coach or an advisor acting as a sounding board. It takes a village.

So today, prepare to be successful. Build your network, build your support system, and take charge of building your self-esteem. Believe you can, and you will, no matter what happens next.

“Uncertainty will always be part of the taking charge process.” ~~Harold S. Geneen