Wednesday, January 19, 2011


“Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.” ~~ Marcus Antonius~~

Loss is hard to handle. There is no way around it. True, there are varying degrees of loss, and some substantially more debilitating than others… and true, everyone processes things differently… but loss is hard to handle. Period. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, the loss of a pet, the loss of a job, or even just losing your wallet or keys, coping skills are required to get through.

I am a firm believer in the power of a positive attitude when coping with loss. Logically I know it’s helpful. Emotionally I’ve benefited from the freedom of maintaining a bright outlook. Realistically, I also know it’s not easy. In fact, it’s near impossible to stay focused on the positive when you feel sad, dejected, or beaten down. It’s hard to not be negative when you’re experiencing loss. It might even seem like you’re not honoring the loss if you don’t suffer a little… But can’t you honor the loss by appreciating the good things? I’ve lost loved ones. It sucks. But once I’ve cried, can’t I focus on all the good things that person shared with me, and be happy they’re no longer in pain or unhappy? I’ve even chosen to “lose” loved ones… “dissolved a friendship” so to speak. That’s also hard, but instead of being bitter, can’t I choose to focus on the things that were good, when they were good, that made that person special? I’ve lost a pet, in fact my first pet of 12 years recently passed, and I was really sad. Now I’m choosing to focus on the love I felt for her, and am adopting two new pet. And, I’ve lost jobs. More than I’d like to think about. And while I was angry and felt beaten down, I am now able to focus on all of the great experience I gained, and how I held progressively responsible positions which have enabled me to do what I do today.

I am not preaching. This post is serving as my reminder that I do not have to suffer. I can choose to maintain a positive attitude even while I allow myself to feel the pain of loss. And, I dedicate this post to a dear friend who today, is undoubtedly suffering the loss of her dad.

Today I choose to stay positive.

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