When The Only One You’re Hurting is You

“We are accountable only to ourselves for what happens to us in our lives." ~~Mildred Newman~~

Accountability is a curious thing to me. It’s easy to be accountable when there is an external expectation. If a customer is waiting for something from you, you get it to them, and you get it to them on time. If a client is in need, you help them in any way that you can. You are accountable to your customers and clients, and likely to your family and your friends. But how often do you hold yourself accountable for the things that are important only to you? Do you hold yourself accountable for things that are not perceived as requirements to achieve success? I can write about completing a performance review for yourself or your business, and you can think it’s a great idea, but do you do it? Or, do you plan to? What if you forget? Things like that slip through the cracks all the time. You know it’s a good idea. You believe it can help further your success, but it’s for you, and you alone… and so maybe someday you’ll get to it…

Do you hold yourself accountable for the things you say you’re going to do when nobody really is expecting anything from you… except you?

Here are some ways that I believe will help me hold myself accountable to ME.

1. Engage an accountability partner. I have learned that when I have someone who can help nudge me along the way (who is not my spouse!) when I’m not meeting my own expectations is very helpful. I don’t like to admit failure. I don’t know anyone who does. So, if I create the person who IS expecting something form me, I get it done. I’m not talking about a daily thing, maybe not even a weekly thing, but someone who truly helps you stay accountable for your actions, whether for work or for job search, can be extremely helpful.
2. Become part of an accountability group, or create one. This can be especially useful if you work independently, or are in job search. Put together a group of people who have similar needs or desire similar outcomes, and help each other stay focused and on track. Meet as often as you need to, maybe by phone, likely better in person, and keep your meetings productive. Set guidelines, and make sure that everyone in the group understands its purpose.
3. Write down weekly goals along with daily to-dos that will help you achieve those goals. Set timelines, set deadlines, and stick to them. Maybe you can even share your list with your accountability partner or group. And, practice integrity. Do what you say you’re going to do, and create a consequence for not holding up your end of the bargain. Likewise, reward yourself when you do. Celebrate the small successes along the way. The little stuff adds up!

If you have other ideas, let me know! Accountability really is a curious thing to me. And, I need as much help with holding myself accountable as anyone else out there!

Create The Good

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” ~~Leonardo da Vinci~~


This has been a tough year for a lot of people. Between the aftermath of Irene, the earthquake, the floods… the unemployment, the economy, the debt… it’s hard for me to sit here and tell you that everything happens for a reason.

Personally, I have to hold on to the notion that there’s a greater plan, and that I can’t possibly begin to understand that plan, but that’s not the practical advice that “you can use today” that I’ve become known for.

What if, instead, we look for ways to make something good happen from every situation?

Irene, like many of the recent weather issues, created a need for communities to come together in a way I have not witnessed in a while. Families helping one another, even those they don’t know; municipalities offering free services to entire towns in some instances; it has made room for the possibility of everyone actually working as a team moving towards a common goal.

I had a client tell me yesterday that his recent unemployment has given him the time he has not made in a while to take care of himself and get a few things off of his to-do list. He’s been to the doctor, fixed a few things, did some preventative maintenance… and in light of the recent weather, some of this may have saved his house…

I had another client tell me that her (more long-term) unemployment has given her the opportunity to volunteer. As she tries to stay busy and be useful (as well as keep the gaps off of her résumé) she has been working hard in her town to increase the amount of food in the local food pantry and raise awareness about the hunger issues very close to home.

Even in my own family, since the recent passing of my grandmother, my Dad is spending much more time with his father, and creating happiness in his life he hasn’t seen in the last few years. It’s been awesome to hear joy in my grandfather’s voice again, despite the loss of his partner and wife of 68 years!

On Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn, total strangers are reaching across the globe to help others in need. From encouragement and support to resume writing and career help, to fundraising for little-known but highly valuable causes… the world is getting smaller in these times…

I’m not going to pretend that this will always be easy. It will not. I can’t tell you that I always find a silver lining the first time I look. I don’t. But I know that there is one, or at least the chance to create one.

I challenge us all to find a way to make something good happen every day, in every situation, no matter how difficult.

Today I will spread positive energy served with a smile everywhere I go. What will you do today?

On Being Committed

“There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results." ~~Kenneth Blanchard~~

It takes a lot of will power to be committed. Will power is not something that comes easily to all. It if did, there probably wouldn’t be a name for it… I’ve written many posts about not going it alone. I often talk about the importance of networking and of getting and giving help. Being committed to being committed is a prime example of when your support system can, well, support you! Ask for encouragement. Ask to be held accountable. Ask for help in recognizing when your commitment starts to waiver. Just because it’s YOUR commitment doesn’t mean you have to do it by yourself. Rally your friends, your family, your coach, your colleagues, the twitterverse… Let people know what you’re up to.

Let’s get the world committed to your success.

Getting Back on Track

“Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.” ~~Will Rogers~~

Staying focused seems to be one of my biggest challenges. And, from what I read on a regular basis, it’s clear that it’s not just me! My post yesterday (here) describes a planning tool I use to help stay organized and make good choices about how to use my time… but it doesn’t always help me stay off the web, and focused on more critical (or more lucrative) tasks. I’ve described techniques in the past; Aligned Thinking, and Celestine Prophecy-like focused energy to name two… and when I’m in total “production mode” these work and work well… but what happens when distractions get the better of you? What happens when you’re not feeling motivated and you’d rather spend some time on Zappos, Twitter, or Facebook? I want to know what works for you. How do you maintain focus and stay productive especially when you just don’t feel like it? Do you use a self-reward system? Do you listen to loud music? Do you allow yourself the distraction knowing that you’ll pick back up soon? Is it easy for you to recognize, or admit to yourself, that you’ve lost focus? And, once you’ve realized you’re not focused, how do you get back on track? Thanks in advance for your comments! Let’s help each other out!

Motivation: Finding Your Balance

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance." ~~Brian Tracy~~

It makes sense; when you feel balanced, you feel in control. When you lose your balance, you feel out of control. I watched my almost 5 year old on a balance beam last night when I picked him up from daycare. It was cute. He was so proud to be able to walk the beam, arms outstretched, without falling. One of his friends was even able to walk backwards on the beam without as much as a wobble. That balance is hard to find. There are certainly external activities that can help you gain that balance when you feel off center… E.F.T., yoga, meditation, relaxation, affirmations… all things I write about a lot, but sometimes forget to practice. I am looking for balance again. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and a little out of control this week. I discovered yesterday, with the help of my accountability group, that it was really time to regain balance and control. Watching my son on that balance beam helped me see how important that balance really is. I don’t want to fall. I don’t even want to wobble. So today I practice what I preach. E.F.T. (tapping) this morning, music on now, blogging before working to put that balance out to the world, and affirmations coming soon.

What will you practice today to help you find your balance?

Motivation: Are you an egg?

“Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold - but so does a hard-boiled egg.” ~~Author Unknown~~

What do I intend to do today? That’s a very different question, I think, than what *will* I do today? Intentions are important, and they certainly guide me through planning, but what really matters is the action I take. Intending to take action doesn’t cut it. Get up! Get moving! Get Going! Get It Done! The energy I get from taking action is incredibly motivating and drives me to do even more. So, yes, I am motivated by my intentions, but they can also be de-motivating… One of the things I’m learning through participation in my accountability group is that I over-plan my day. I *intend* to do too much, and when I don’t get it done, I feel like I’ve let myself down. My new intention then, is to be more realistic in knowing what I can accomplish in a day, or in a week. We’ll see how that works out… Either way, I am taking action, both in getting things done today, and in adjusting my behavior! Do your actions match your intentions?

Preparation + Taking Responsibility

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” ~~Norman Vincent Peale ~~

I could have worked all weekend. That’s a powerful statement for me, because a week ago, I might have said, “I *should* have worked all weekend.”

I could be entirely stressed out right now… and I’m not. I am prepared to tackle the challenge of fitting a week’s worth of work into two days since I have chosen to go on vacation.

I started to stress last night as I was preparing for my week. I started to feel “overcommitted” and was wondering how I would get it all done. But, I stopped. (Kudos to me!) And, I took a deep breath. And, I remembered that I myself set these deadlines. I myself set the priorities. I not only *can* get it all done, I will get it all done. I am prepared. I am focused and efficient. (Yes, that one is still going strong!) And, I have help! There will be no slacking off. There is no need to stress out. Being overwhelmed doesn’t help the situation. I am motivated to achieve, thanks in part to my awesome new accountability group, and thanks in part to some new acquaintances I made (soon to be friends I am sure!) But even more, thanks to me! I am happy that I remembered to stop and breathe. I am grateful that I took the time last night to prepare for today. And I am proud that I believe that I can and WILL get it done. My thoughts do affect my actions, and I am in control of my thoughts!

Motivation: On being held accountable

“Sometimes the only way you can take a really good look at yourself is through somebody else's eyes.” ~From the television show Scrubs

Can someone please tell me if Mercury is in retrograde? Seriously! I’ve spoken to 4 people in the last two days who are just so sad and feeling so alone. Stress takes its toll! It affects your health, your family, your life. Whether you’re in a job you can’t stand, or you don’t have one at all; the feelings you’re experiencing can be overwhelming. I remember those feelings all too well. And if there is one pearl of wisdom that I can share from that experience, it is this: You are not alone. There are people around you who can and will help you. We will listen, we will advise, we will motivate, and we will hold you accountable. (And, yes, that’s a GOOD thing!) If you could only see yourself through someone else’s eyes! You would see that you are capable; you do have the power inside you that you need to succeed. You can change your circumstances, and with some support and guidance, you will make things better for yourself. And, you don’t have to do it alone!

I went to my first new accountability group meeting yesterday. Three of us who are in similar places in our careers met to share our goals and “to-do” lists. We discussed some strategies which may help us get to where we want to be. We will talk (or meet) weekly and hold one another accountable. We will make sure that each of us does what they say they were going to do. We will offer suggestions, provide support and direction, and keep one another focused on the “right” stuff. I already feel more productive!

I’ve written in the past about the importance of this kind of support, and I think for a career campaign, it really makes sense! When you’re looking for a job, you are basically self-employed. You set your own rules and you set your own timeline. The only person you hurt when you don’t do what you said you were going to is you! When your self-imposed deadlines go whooshing by, the only person who suffers the consequences is you! So, you continue to spiral down. You continue to feel guilty. You may even begin to even feel sorry for yourself… and the only person who can make it better???? You guessed it. YOU!

What if instead you had people holding you to those deadlines? What if you had a group of people relying on you to get things accomplished? What if those people held you accountable? Wouldn’t you be more likely to take action and get things done? And imagine how much better you will feel when those people are actually helping you pull yourself up, offering words of encouragement, and giving you ideas that you may not have come up with on your own! It’s always easier to give someone else good advice, isn’t it? And, the very act of helping someone else might just help you help yourself!