Goals: Taking a Detour

“Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.” ~~Doug Larson~~

I obviously believe in the power and necessity of goal setting. That’s not news. But I also have recently (read: yesterday - Thanks to Stephanie Dalfonzo!) agreed to free myself of the guilt associated with not accomplishing everything on my list.

Here’s the general scenario: I’d set a goal, something unplanned came up, and I’d feel guilty for not achieving the goal. Sound familiar? Apparently, I’m not alone in this scenario. Life happens. But it didn’t seem to matter if the unplanned thing was really, really positive and helped me to be successful in some other way; I still felt like I failed in some way. Now, I am specifically referring to shorter term goals here, not my 10-year plan, but that actually made it even harder, because it was happening a lot… I’d plan to get something done, would have to take a detour which often actually led to an even better place, and while I was thrilled about it, I’d still feel overwhelmed and sometimes downright rotten for not getting everything accomplished. Today, I continue my quest for personal freedom from guilt and will allow room for interesting detours. Are you in?

For more information on Stephanie Dalfonzo, visit http://www.linkedin.com/in/stephaniedalfonzo or http://stephaniedalfonzo.com/

Preparation

“Sometimes it seems your ever-increasing list of things to do can leave you feeling totally undone.” ~Susan Mitchell and Catherine Christie, I'd Kill for a Cookie~

Preparing for the day ahead is sometimes a challenge. It frequently takes too much self control and discipline for me to stop what I am doing right now, and plan for later. Sometimes it’s easier to plan for the week, month, or year ahead, because they seem so much more abstract. I’ve decided that while I know it’s a very good thing for me to have a plan and be as prepared as possible for the immediate tasks at hand, it’s sometimes just as much a good thing for me to have no short term plan at all, and just go with it. My long term plans are solid. The preparation to help me achieve my longer term goals has been ongoing. I know where I want to end up and feel really good about how I am going to get there. So, when I find myself stressing out about the utter lack of planning I have done for tomorrow, I can handle it. I simply remind myself that sometimes the best things happen by accident.

“Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.” ~Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne

“Some of the secret joys of living are not found by rushing from point A to point B, but by inventing some imaginary letters along the way.” ~Douglas Pagels, These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You

Goals

“Success is 10% inspiration, 90% last-minute changes.” ~From a billboard advertisement~

Don’t be afraid to adjust your goals! You never know what life is going to throw your way, and if you won’t even consider the possibilities because they might upset your current plan, who knows what you may miss. Remember to enjoy the journey, do your due diligence, keep an open mind and your eyes open too, and you never know what you might see!

Preparation

"Think of yourself as a toy train. All toy trains de-rail now and then. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on track." ~~unknown

Though I’d prefer not to admit it, it’s impossible to be prepared for everything. Even when you have time to prepare and feel as if you’re ready, life can still throw you a curve-ball. You can be totally and completely prepared for one thing, and then something totally and completely different happens that you’re totally and completely NOT prepared for… YIKES! The important thing is how you deal with it; how you roll with it… Do you stay de-railed? Or do you get back on track?

“The most important day ever is TODAY.” ~ James Allen

Goals

"The most important thing about goals is having one." ~~Geoffry F. Abert~~

I think there is a lesson to be learned from my apparent inability to stick to my “plan of the day” on the days I write about goals. Yesterday, I had a very clear plan for today. Then life got in the way. A Honda minivan was driven directly into a classroom in my son’s daycare center; over the curb, across the sidewalk, through the bushes, and right through the wall. Miraculously, nobody was hurt. The teachers, for some inexplicable reason, had decided to take the kids outside early. The classroom was empty. I am eternally grateful to them for that decision.

Needless to say, daycare was closed today, and my “plans” changed. And, while this may be one of the more extreme situations I’ve faced recently (and, yes, really, everything is fine!), it certainly isn’t the only time that my goals were usurped by my reality.

Back to the lesson… I think I need to learn to better be that “river” I’ve written about. I think I need to learn to be more flexible, and “go with the flow” while keeping my eyes on the longer term goals and bigger picture. I know where I want to end up, but I need to stop being so hard on myself when my day’s plans are altered. I have a goal. And, I will get there…someday.

Monday: Preparation

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” ~Tony Robbins

You never know what curveball life will throw your way. Being flexible may, on the outside, look like the antithesis of preparation, but in my opinion, it is because of proper preparation that I maintain the ability to stay flexible… in spite of my circumstances…

Flexibility is another key principle of success.

“Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.” ~Lao Tzu

Monday: Preparation

"If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe." ~Abraham Lincoln

Well, I don’t know if I’d go *that* far… Obviously I think preparation is important. And, if you’ve been reading for any length of time, you know that I am a firm believer in careful planning… but sometimes, you have to JUST DO IT! Making a list (and checking it twice) is certainly helpful, often critical, in certain situations. But it can also be time consuming and overwhelming. And if making your list, to too much planning actually gets in the way of accomplishing anything, well, that’s not a good thing. Sometimes, the best place to start when you don’t know where to start is right in front of you! Just jump in. If you’ve planned for long term, and are relatively prepared for the week, sometimes it’s ok to roll with it…